


Breathe, Okay? (Prince Lotor x Reader)

by itstheendofthegoddamnworld



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, F/M, Genderless, Good Lotor (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Panic Attacks, Shiro (Voltron) is Missing, Soft Lotor (Voltron), purple paladin, you are a paladin, you are a sensitive bitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 09:49:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21159677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itstheendofthegoddamnworld/pseuds/itstheendofthegoddamnworld
Summary: Reader is the purple paladin and suffers from anxiety and panic attacks, and usually it’s Shiro who gets them out of it by calming them down, but they have a harder time when it is Keith who is in charge.So whilst on a mission, they panic and it costs them to get captured by Lotor (kind of similar to the hc) and Lotor learns of this and in the next one they have, he comes to comfort and calm them. They/them pronouns.Also, this doesn’t follow all of the canon or timeline of the show!





	Breathe, Okay? (Prince Lotor x Reader)

**Author's Note:**

> ENJOY!! LONG FIC SO BE PREPARED.

“Remember to steady your breathing, okay? Deep breaths in and out.”

The calming voice-guided you back to focusing on your surroundings, the feeling of the air that felt so heavy around you, had settled to a calmness that you never noticed.

Your tears had stilled on your cheeks, and they had dried cool on your skin. Through the blurriness of your vision, you could see the reassuring face of the junior officer.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m here.” Shiro’s calming voice brought you to feel the tension inside of you to ease down, a hurricane of stress and anxiety dying down like a passing storm. 

You stared up at him from your position on the floor, taken aside by Shiro so none of your Garrison cadets could see you break down; you couldn’t fathom how you would feel if they had seen.

“Shiro… I-I.” You looked away, wiping your eyes in visible embarrassment. All this crying for something that you knew would be going down; a written test that you had to take on in the following hour.

Something you had spent hours revising for, risking sleepless nights just to feel even more stressed. You were downright terrified.

It had been after lunch when you had had the breakdown and panic attack, wanting nothing more to just let the ground swallow you whole and let you disappear. It was where you were now when Shiro had been the one who had found you.

“Hey, it’ll be okay– alright?” He seemed to know what had been going on: Shiro was a junior officer after all. But just him being here to calm you down was enough to make you feel glad that he truly had found you and no-one else.

You shuddered if Iverson had run into you.

“I’m sorry… it wasn’t anything major.” You tried to dismiss it, rubbing your eyes clear from the tears with the back of your uniform. Shiro didn’t seem to believe your words, eyebrows raised, his eyes stared into your own for the truth.

“The test you have to do, was it to do with that?” He asked, leaning back from his crouched position. You nodded vaguely. “I remember when it came to it when I had to do it. No amount of sleepless nights could stop me from nearly throwing up everywhere that morning.”

You snorted, much to his relief that you got his humour behind his words, and another encouraging pat came to your shoulder from him. “Don’t sweat it out. I know from your stats how good you’ve been. Nerves are natural, no matter how bad they can be.”

_But mine never seem to be normal. _You thought. “Don’t let them tell you otherwise. You’re a smart kid.” 

“Thanks, Shiro.” You always appreciated your talks with Shiro, even when you had been a junior cadet in the Garrison. You looked up to him and thought of him as the older brother you never had.

“That’s officer to you, L/N.” He tried to pull a serious face to you, but you had laughed at knowing he was still joking. 

“Go on, I’ll leave you to revise. I’ll come by to check on you and see how it went.” He pulled you to your feet, stabilising you as you dust yourself off. Nodding, you took off down the corridor, trying your best to ignore that your nerves had gotten to the best of you again.

That had been like that even after the tests and multiple exams, but you passed and got the opportunity to pass onto the next stage, but your life had been turned upside down when news came of Shiro’s disappearance that had happened and shocked everyone.

You were still the nervous wreck, trying to remember all of the lessons Shiro taught you, and yet still, most didn’t work when stress and anxiousness got too overbearing.

You could’ve called it a miracle when you had found out Shiro was still alive, but in the oddest of occurrences that made you and four other cadets try to get him out of questioning.

You had been whisked away on a so-called ‘adventure’: finding the lions of Voltron that you too were apart of. 

The purple paladin and guardian spirit of storms: the one who never went to seek danger, but never stood down in the face of it.

You were a pacifist truly in this world: never wanting to be part of a war, to begin with against an enemy who could destroy every life force in the universe. But you didn’t want to give up; not with ill intent against your friends you had grown to be within your journey.

_But what now? _You thought, preparing to put your helmet on. Shiro went missing after a battle against Zarkon, splintering your group in trying to find a new leader. It had surprised you all when Keith had been the one to take the mantle and become the new paladin for the Black Lion.

_What could you do now, now that he was gone? _Voltron could never be the same. You admitted with grief, stepping out of your room as you came to walk into to greet the rest of your friends.

“Hey, been gone for a while, you feeling okay?” Pidge asked, the first to ask, but not the first to spot you finally come into the room. It seemed you were the last one to finally arrive, but no-one had gone to get you.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry for the holdup.” You tried to keep your smile up, thinking how possibly you could through the confusion and acceptance to the rest of the paladins.

Of all the eyes you met, there was the only one you couldn’t bear to look into, and Keith so happens to be staring back at you.

**Disappointment**. That was what you could see, and perhaps the burden that was thrown from Shiro to him was holding him down too much, and the mere acceptance of you and was enough to make he deem you as weak.

“Let’s go over the plan once again. Now that we have everyone.” The once red paladin spoke, breaking the silence, drawing everyone in. “Lance and Hunk, I need you to help with support from the back of Zarkon’s ship. Now that he’s been defeated, we need to fracture up the Galra support as much as possible.”

“Pidge, go with Y/N down into the mainframe, Y/N, you will be the support and give back us the rapport if there is anything that goes wrong.”

You nodded, ignoring the way that Lance begun to of course start to complain to Keith of this plan, but it went swiftly interrupted with Coran telling you all to get to your lions.

You all hurried down, being greeted by your Lion, purple and the same size to Pidge’s. “Hey, Vi, ready to stir up a storm?” You smiled as your Lion came down to kneel towards you, purring with as much excitement in the thoughts of getting to go out for the mission.

“Hey, Y/N. One second.” You turned around in time to see Keith walking to you, a serious look burning in his eyes. “Yeah? Everything okay?”

There was a pregnant pause in the air, mixed with the whirring of the lions stirring to life. Keith finally sighed, crossing his arms. “Look I know this will be difficult– this mission and all, but try not to get your emotions to take over, okay?”

Your ears picked up his words and had it been for who he was, you had taken those words to heart a little bit more than you had expected. You were emotional, but you still tried to go with your mind over your heart; to save your teammates last second.

“Yeah… sure.” You reassured, smiling even when you could feel the nerves begin to bubble and boil. Keith nodded when he heard you had understood. “We just want to get in and then out, like we were never there at all. I don’t want to jeopardize the team.”

You nodded, watching him walk over to the black lion as you finally got in your own, fingers grasped on the controls, knuckles turned white.

_Breathe in and out, slowly - everything will be fine. What would Shiro say?_

You thought to him a lot, how he would be there to calm you, but what good was it now that he wasn’t there? You let out a shaky breath, and finally, you tried to get your mind in the right place as you flew out from the Castle; into the vast bleakness of space.

**-**

You and the others had gotten your way onto the ship successfully, knocking a few guards out, infiltrating through corridors dark and long. 

Your heart pumping irregularly through your chest the further you got to your post alongside Pidge. Getting into corners you shot from the hidden range with your suited weapon that your Bayard turned into; a rifle.

Helping Pidge to get into the mainframe to turn off the controls and cameras for the doors, you assigned yourself by the door, watching with precise vision. “Y/N, keep an eye on the west hallway. Haggar and her druids are loose.” Keith ordered through your earpiece.

“On it.” You confirmed, never taking your eyes off of anything even though the heavy breathing coming from you. You tried to steady it as best as you could, but it didn’t seem to go unnoticed.

“Umm, guys? What’s that noise?” You heard Lance’s voice through your earpiece.

“Yeah, it kinda sounds like a cat having an asthma attack,” Hunk added.

You heard Keith groan, growing to your lack of concentration. “Y/N,** focus**. Pidge, how long before we are to getting into the main area?”

“You have one _dobosh_ until I won’t be able to hold it for any longer. You’ll have to hurry. The doors won’t stay open for too long.”

You waited in long anticipation, your head pounding more so than normal, waiting for anything. 

A _glang_ and loud _crash_ could be heard through your earpiece, your teammates’ voices so distressed coming through, and you were growing frantic in not knowing who was talking.

“I need backup. Druids have made their way into the room. We need to get out!”

“I won’t be able to hold them for much longer! I need support!”

“The doors will close- get out of there!”

You had turned your head for two seconds too long, Pidge’s voice shouting to you to look out behind you for something. You dodged in time for your head to miss getting hit, ducking behind the wall as you looked on.

“Y/N, we need you to help them!”

Your name brought your attention, looking to Pidge, words coming from her mouth that you didn’t realise were directed to you.

“Y/N, please!” Lance cried out - _or was it Allura? Hunk or Keith?_ You were growing distressed the more you heard your friends growing surrounded and needing more help.

“I-I…” Your hands gripped your rifle tightly, sweat beading down your forehead. _Think! What would Shiro do?_

A pained grunt and scream came from your earpiece, someone had gotten knocked down, and you were still risking everything to help them by doing nothing.

“Y/N! We need you to help right now!” Keith barked through your ear, making it ring. “I-I… Keith…” You could feel everyone depending on you at this moment, and you could feel their feelings trained on hating you.

“You need to get out of this. We’re in serious trouble!” You could hear the druids closing in on you through with their firing, and the tears were threatening to spill once again, the blazing storm beginning to arrive through your mind.

“I-I can’t…”

“You can! Do this for Shiro! For God sake! Just **do** something!”

_Shiro_… He could be dead out there… and you were not helping, panicking from just the thought of not having him there to calm you down. You were scared, petrified for your friends’ lives, and yet, you felt useless at this moment.

You turned hastily, gasping when a shot grazed you, your shoulder burning as if you had been both burnt and electrocuted through your armour down to your flesh.

Pulling your rifle, you focused too messily to fire, hitting two but not enough to knock them down. Your breathing grew heavier, arms shaking as you tried to ignore everything else around you.

“Y/N, we need to save them!” Pidge shouted from behind you, dodging fellow shots to get towards you. You screwed your eyes shut, mind trying to dance with different techniques you remembered from Shiro.

_Breathe okay? Deep breaths. It’ll be okay._

You were shaken back to reality, Pidge having shaken you to come back around as she was the one who took the initiative, shooting for you around the small corner you were around.

When the coast was clear, she was running off down the hallway, with you running behind, hastily trying to keep up and trying to stop the tears from falling. When Keith got to you after this, you knew you would never hear from anything else again. Just your failures for the rest of time itself.

You could already hear his words; the unruliness in his voice would always bring shudders to you.

_If you’re not set to be a Paladin of Voltron, then you should just leave. We would be better off without you!_

It had hurt when he had said it to you, back in an argument you didn’t want to be involved in. If you hadn’t said anything, he wouldn’t have snapped to you and only you. You hadn’t come out of your room for two days - not even with the coaxing of the others.

Keith was your own worst audience member to impress, and you were certain that it would be it for you; to take off the mantle of Voltron, and for them to find another more competent.

You shook your head, dismissing all thoughts from your hypochondria and paranoia that settled so much more than PTSD. Pidge’s voice brought your attention; _she_ had been the one to found the others.

You rounded the corner to get to see the others in the area, mainly unscathed and unharmed, and already by just meeting Keith’s eyes, he could’ve exploded then and there in chastising you.

But your attention was brought towards the noises coming from the back of them all, and before you knew it - as if everything was moving in slow motion - you were already stepping in the way of an alarmed Keith. 

You shoved through him and Lance, stepping out to try and take a shot, and the shot meant for either one of your friends had landed on you by one of the many druids who had found their way into the room.

You were going down with more force than you realised, the blurred sounds of your team were causing havoc you could tell. Were they trying to save you, or was it something else, because you could hear the distant sound of distressed voices, and footsteps running off, and the darkness swarming your head to make it feel like you were swimming far too long underwater.

Finally, before you blacked out, you heard an unfamiliar voice, cutting in and out of your head.

“Take – Prince – Lotor.”

**-**

_Take… Prisoner… Captive…_ What was going on and what would become of you? You had been taken prisoner on Zarkon’s ship, certain you would become one of Haggar’s many entertainments for pulling answers from you with torture.

You were still out cold, but you could feel a numbness inside of you, dark and cold it felt unsettling.

You were finally coming around, a low humming sound brought you to the attention that made you believe it had been all but a dream, but slowly coming around, you found that the ceiling was far too bright than your room.

You blinked slowly, coming round to your dulled senses, a heaviness hurting the back of your head, begging you to go back to sleep once again.

Slowly sitting up and clutching your head, you found yourself in an all-white room, with all windows nor ways of getting out. You found yourself in a room with one singular bed and nothing else to it.

Your breathing hitched even when you tried to calm yourself down, looking around in hopes your fears hadn’t come true. _How comes I wasn’t in no cell? One of darkness._

From the spot in the small room, you could hear footsteps, ranging in heavy and light, so loud that it was like a stamped was going on in the hallway.

You braced yourself as in view came two people, dressed in uniform and heavy armour. Your mind came to believe they were Haggar’s generals, dragging you finally down to be tortured now that you were awake.

They were distinctly male and female, with the male holding a small tray for you that he presented to you through the other side. A small window opened up for him, and he placed the tray inside. 

You watched hawkishly at his movements, how there was a calmness in his yellow sclera and dark blue eyes; something that both unsettled and calmed you in the oddest of ways.

You eyed the tray with suspiciousness, glaring up at the two.

“You may leave us now, Axca.” The Galra ‘general’ had spoken, his voice as smooth as cutting through butter. There was a sultriness to his voice that brought your stomach to twist.

“Sir.” The blue-skinned woman referred to as ‘Axca’ saluted, turning on her heel to leave you be with the man.

You eyed him for what felt like it went on until the end of time until he finally smiled charmingly. “Had Emperor Zarkon been here instead of I, he would have been most disappointed in only having one Paladin.”

You tensed under his words, gripping at the bedsheets until your fingers turned white. “Zarkon has been defeated. The Galra empire splintered and fractured…. and we would do it again and again if we have to, to save the universe.”

The man chuckled. “You sound like a true hero, don’t you Paladin? I will give you the credit, your act was certainly most _valiant_; risking your capture for your friends.”

Even he knew of your deed, and hearing it from the likes of him, he sounded more to be _mocking_ you than rather praising you. “I’m sure you would do the same if the situation came to it.” You spat.

He stepped closer to the glass, staring you down from his tall posture, even with the intrigued smirk on his face, he unnerved you. “You’re certainly not the first human I’ve met who wasn’t so selfish in an act so suicidal.”

You shrugged, your mind falling to your friends. “Some would call it cowardness – I’ve faced that for God knows how long. But, I guess…” You didn’t want to imagine it, but you thought they would most likely be happy to see you gone. “I would do a lot for my friends in the face of danger.”

He hummed in thought, deeply interested if you had thought overwise. “My father would’ve called it foolishness, perhaps even rashness. I would’ve called it valour.”

You squinted your eyes at his words. “Your _father_… that would mean-”

He smiled, and maybe his expression had deliberately shown the pain through his eyes. “My father had kept my ascension to his throne a secret to all his enemies for his 10,000 rule. 

He wasn’t just then one of Haggar’s generals, he was the heir and future emperor to the throne; a prince so to say. _Wait_. Your mind finally cracked the realisation, and upon seeing the revelation on your face, the Galran prince seemed pleased that you had put two and two together.

You crossed your arms at him. “What are you to do with me then? The rest of the Paladins will probably not leave me chained up here.”

“Perhaps, but your precious Paladins of Voltron would be more interested in knowing who is pulling the strings instead of my father.” Questioned Lotor.

_My friends… they wouldn’t do such a thing unless Keith told them to otherwise._ “Other than luring them into finding you, they couldn’t possibly be as naïve into finding you so soon, would they?”

You gnawed on your bottom lip. “You would have me trapped here? Possibly killed?”

Lotor merely tilted his head in amusement, and his words were more than enough to make you fear him more than before. 

“When did I say anything about killing you?”

**-**

You had lost count of the days you had spent imprisoned under Prince Lotor’s supervision; tended to better than any other captor. You had come to realise that the Galra Prince was much good in keeping people on his side.

You also got to know his generals, all-female with half Galran descent like him, and more ruthless in telling you if you stepped out of line. They were crueller if it came to watching guard when Lotor wasn’t there; neither answering your questions nor talking to you at all for hours on end until they swapped posts.

You came to be more relieved if Lotor ever came to stop by, as he at least spoke with you, but that was rare, and you weren’t surprised to know that a man of royalty had things to attend to. 

_He couldn’t always be here speaking with me. _You thought, one day, chewing on the bland food they had given that you barely ate.

Footsteps. You could hear them coming in close to your room. You had come to recognise each of the people from just their footsteps. Your hopes may have been lifted, knowing just who it was.

“I was wondering when you would come back. I hope I am not in too much trouble? Zethrid threatened she would tell on me, then warning me she would rip out my spine.”

Lotor chuckled, seemingly being in a good mood for today. “You have nothing to worry about. If she knew she could threaten you and do some harm, she would know that she would have to face me.”

You cautioned. “Meaning?”

Lotor hummed for a second, his beautiful white hair trailing on its own with no sign of the wind making it do so. “I said you wouldn’t be dying anytime soon. I make that promise for my generals too.”

Your eyebrows fell, a dumbfounded look came onto your face. “Wow, that makes me feel safe.”

The two of you didn’t say much as he gave you your meal, just you eating in silence for a while, whilst Lotor made it obvious he was watching; thinking.

It made you more nervous, unsure whether you wanted to know exactly what he was thinking. Finally, the Galra prince spoke up.

“What made you join Voltron? I’m sure one doesn’t just stumble into it on a whim?”

You pouted, in thought. An odd question to ask. “ It was more… Voltron found me. I guess it was a way of trying to prove to myself I wasn’t scared.”

“Scared? What is there to be scared of?” He expressed.

You bit your lip, debating whether to tell the enemy to you and your teammates of the biggest flaw you had since you could remember. “I struggle with anxiety I guess…. I have a hard time trying to stop myself from having a full-on panic attack, even during missions. I guess that’s how I found myself here.”

Lotor gave you a puzzled look - something you didn’t think you would ever see from his calm demeanour. “Panic attack? Whatever are those?”

“They can be triggered by lots of stress or nervousness from something- from anything. Mine can be really bad.”

Lotor hummed in thought, intrigued so to say in your problem. You could’ve laughed, imagining whether the prince should take a potion as a therapist than the future leader of an empire.

“Is there… any chance of stopping them?” He questioned.

You chortled dryly, and your mind fell to Shiro and his successions on making you calm down. Only thing was that no-one else other than him had been able to calm you.

“A lot of patience.”

There was a large crash that came through the entire ship and room, the floor rumbled and reverberated the sound through one end of the room to go right through you and shake you to your core.

Lotor got into an almost hypnotised state, working on clockwork in the possibility of an attack - which so happened to of been happening in this instant.

“Rogue fighters, trying to take us down.” He was still oddly well-spoken for someone who was about to be under attack, the way he spoke turning to make him look more just like an emperor than a prince.

“Axca, Zethrid, ready the cannons. You are to get them away from us and from blowing a hole to suck everything out of this ship– _oh_.” He had turned to even make a small glance to you from the other side of the window, pausing.

“Sir? What else?” Ezor questioned through the communicator. “Just do what I say and figure out the rest. I’m busy.” He snapped hotly, turning his attention to you.

You were too busy holding yourself in the corner, cornered like an injured frightened animal as you tried to stop yourself from growing too mad to get back to being sane.

_I’m going to die here! I’m never gonna make it out alive. I’ll die here alone in space, away from Earth, from my friends– what will the others do when they hear I die? God, I don’t want to go-_

A warmth encased itself around your shoulder, bringing you to snap your head up at the person, a small gasp leaving your lips are you looked away in shame. You hadn’t even heard the door to the room you were in open, and Lotor being crouched in front of you like Shiro had done years ago.

“Y/N, are you having one of your attacks?” There was a softness to his voice, one similar to a consoling parent looking after your child, and if you focused hard enough it was soothing to your stammering heart and shaking hands.

“L-Lotor– I can’t! I-I can’t– I don’t want to die-”

“You won’t, my dear. I won’t let them harm you.” He peered closer to you, smoothing your hair to one side as you stared up into those eyes. “Deep breaths, okay?”

You did so, deep and slow breathes as you concentrated on him and only him. And from this angle, you could truly see how beautiful up close he was to you instead of being behind the glass.

It had felt as if all air had been knocked from your lungs, and like Shiro, he was breathing life into you. 

“Breathe my dear. Nothing will hurt you– yes, like that, you’re safe here.”

You believed his words, an odd part to you did, and you believed that he was telling you the truth.

Soon that horrendous bubble of storms that brewed in your mind was calming, and you were finally able to stare at him properly, a surprised doe-eyed look to your eyes.

“Sir, we took down the fighters- would you like me to send word to- _oh_.” You recognised that voice from anywhere, and Axca had managed to come into the room.

Still not turning around from you, Lotor coolly responded to his general, his eyes never leaving yours. 

“No need. Set course for the castle of lions. I’ve come to bargain."

**Author's Note:**

> This took A WEEK to write, and I think I didn’t write Lotor the way he is written on the show - which sucks but oh well. I’m not going to write another one of these, but I could write a hc if someone was interested.  
THANK YOU FOR DEALING AND WAITING!


End file.
